Full-Day Kindergarden for Dead Beat Parents

Full-day kindergarden, thanks to our wonderful State Government sponsors, seems to be all the rage in Indiana lately. What uninformed citizen wouldn't want to take advantage of tax-payer funded daycare for his energetic five-year old? I mean, come on, kids at that age won't leave you alone. They're constantly begging for parental attention: "Dad, will you please read this book to me again?" "Mom, peanut butter and jelly please!" "Mommy, why do ____ (fill in blank with any embarrassing reproductive or anatomy related question here)?". Why take the time to enrich your child's life when you can let the nanny state do it? (Disclaimer: 'enrich' may have varying connotations). Taking the time to fill your child's belly, play with her, read to her and answer those pesky learning questions certainly drains an adult who has so much more pressing roles to fulfill, like watching NCAA tournaments courtesy of TiVo. Let's face it: children can be downright annoying sometimes. Why not get someone else to watch your children....for free! Nothing is too big for government anymore! Lesson: if you can get the tax payers to foot the bill, go for it! Right?

Wrong. Parents fill an important--wait; scratch that--crucial function in their children's lives, especially at young ages. I'm a strong advocate for homeschooling and intend to homeschool my own children. Studies have shown there are no lasting advantages to full day kindergarden. By the end of first grade, kids with out full-day kindergarden have the same abilities as those who went to full-day kindergarden. I would argue that waiting to launch your child into the deteriorating public school system gives your child an advantage over those who jumped on the full-day kindergarden bandwagon. Homeschooled students are further evidence that learning in a familial environment is accelerated learning, and that these students learn far more and more quickly than any public school could ever teach them. I'm under the impression that most homeschool families don't make their children sew fur coats for miniature Native American figurines while explaining that other cultures are far superior to 'taniks' (that's Eskimo for "white folk", of course). I also can't recall a single family that sews rain forest animals and tapes construction paper to their walls to make a classroom jungle. (Both of these projects were real components of my "honor student" junior high curriculum). Public school time is wasted time.

So lets call full day kindergarden what it is: tax payer-funded leftist-run day-care for your five and six year olds.

No thanks, I think I'll fix that PB&J myself.